How are believers handling their wounded?

I've always believed in living my life with complete candor. When you take me, you get me. You get me with strengths and weaknesses. You get me with success and failures. You get me on the good days and the bad. Unfortunately, my candor has "come back to bite me" many times. God is teaching and has taught me much about candor with discretion. :)

I have decided, however, to continue to live an authentic, open life. One of the reasons the church is failing and people are looking elsewhere for their hope is that the church has ceased becoming a place where the wounded can be. Somehow we assume that because Christ comes in, we cease to be wounded. Or maybe after a few years of doing all the right things, people should no longer be wounded. I challenge you, you may not think you live this way, but it is a VERY easy trap to fall into.

Are our churches a place where the WOUNDED meet? Are they places where the wounded find sanctuary? Where we all find the rest, the hope that IS CHRIST. The recognition exists that while we live in this world, life is messy.

As a body, we MUST get past the nice clothes, the makeup, the combed hair, and the smiles and we must become authentic believers DIGGING into each others' lives. Helping, aiding.

Our pastor said today, are we people who shoot the weak? who harm the wounded? Are we more content to feed with the ninety and nine than to go after the one? Sometimes, that "one" is among us. But we'd rather stay in our comfortable circle of friends than branch out to the wounded one. That wounded one may be hiding behind a Bible, the correct theology, neatly combed hair.

Being on the receiving end of "harming the wounded," I also want to be sure that I'm not a wounder. We so easily become self-righteous instead of resting  ALL our righteousness in Christ.  I do it, and I'm sure we all do at times.

I pray this is not an offensive post, but a post that makes us ALL think every day. What type of body are we being?

Advancing God's Kingdom

So today I went into worship feeling fairly despairing of myself. I have been very sick this week. And sickness always brings with it depression for me. 

Oh how thankful I am to worship God in a church that is understanding of frail sinful humanness. The sermon was on advancing God's Kingdom, and the text was the Parable of the Ten Minas in Luke 10. The Pastor focused a good amount of the sermon on the servants who received the minas, and the juxtaposition of the 2 who did something with their minas, and the one who did not. The nobleman gave them their minas, and sent them to do their business. He did not tell them what business to engage in, but rather to use their minas in whatever business they did. They engaged in business of their choosing, and they chose to advance the kingdom right where they were in their lives. I LOVED what the pastor pointed out next. God works to sanctify our desires by using the ways he has already hardwired us. There was no censure to the man only producing five versus the man producing 10. Furthermore, they probably went out and did their business completely different from one another.  We come to the servant who hid his mina. The nobleman wasn't upset that he didn't produce even one mina, but that he hid it away because of a false view of the nobleman. Even putting it in the bank to gain interest would have been more desirable. God wants to use our uniqueness right where we ARE to advance His kingdom. The pastor was careful to point out that He doesn't expect the same productiveness out of all His children. Not everyone has the same makeup. That's what makes the body of Christ so unique. Everyone is completely different.

That was very comforting to me. I live with health issues. I often feel VERY useless. I want to be out producing like many other godly believers I see around me. I often find myself comparing myself to others. In fact, yesterday, I was really frustrated with God for making me the way I am.

I was so rebuked this morning. God didn't make me sick and then struggling and then expect me to go out and produce what others who are well produce. But he does expect me to do what I can with what He's given me.

The fear that the servant who hid his mina was based on the view of a severe God. But our God is not severe. His steadfast love endures forever to His children. God is merciful and gracious and longs to help His children right where they are! He didn't make a mistake when He made me (or you!) He is not looking for productivity; He's looking for faithfulness.

Guilty of being an Israelite

The last few months have proved quite challenging for me on several levels. I don't need to go into details, but suffice it to say, I've been really miserable. Part of that was a function of my health and circumstances beyond my control, but part of it was of my own making.

As I started off the new year, I decided I simply MUST get back in the Word. I went back to pick up my Bible reading right where I left off, and would you believe the chapter I was on?? Isaiah 30. You can't appreciate this post till you go read the chapter for yourselves. So, stop a minute and peruse the chapter. When you do, you will see that it was God's mercy to me that this chapter was the chapter I came back to.

In this chapter, the children of God are at it again (oh those wonderful Israelites who are a picture of, well, ME). They are refusing to find their shelter and refuge in God, but instead are going to EGYPT of all places for their shelter. (I could stop and ponder the stupidity of that choice all day). But I had to stop at the first verse and ask myself some really hard questions, and I realize I'm guilty of finding my shelter in Egypt. How often do we RUN to ourselves or to the things that we think will ease our pain to realize we are finding shelter in the very places that cause us the most bondage?

I didn't even get past the first verse before realizing. . . GUILTY. I'm guilty of being an Israelite. But here's what I love. As God began to unfold for me where my misery has been coming from, we got to the good part: how to fix it. I was waiting for some LIST I needed to do. All these things I needed to do to make things right. But instead I get to this verse, "In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and in trust shall be your strength." "The Lord waits to be gracious to you, and therefore he exalts himself to show mercy to you."

And I realized the answer is actually pretty simple. Return, rest, trust, be quiet, and WAIT. God will be gracious. He will be merciful. He's waiting to be that way! He's anxious to have mercy on us.

"And though the Lord give you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, yet your Teacher will not hide himself anymore, but your eyes shall see your Teacher." "The Lord binds up the brokenness of his people, and heals the wounds inflicted by his blow."

All I can say is WOW, and I'm just sitting here this morning marveling in GRACE.

I simply can't trust God AND_________ (you fill in the blank)

Once again, my blog takes me back to my reading of Isaiah. I keep reading these oracles pronounced against various nations, and frankly, I was thinking, ok enough oracles. But I'm thankful that God continues to give me His word in spite of my fickleness.

So I've been reading these oracles against all these nations. Many of them had oppressed God's people or just outrightly defied God at every turn. Their judgment and destruction were swift and sure. But today, I reached the oracle pronounced against Tyre in chapter 23. I was struck all at once. I didn't really "see" the need for their destruction at first. But it is there, between the lines.

Tyre was a beautiful city, one of great prosperity and wealth. They had a history of being an ally to God's people, so I had to ask myself. Why would God bring about their destruction? The secret lies in verse 9. "The Lord of hosts has purposed it, to defile the pompous pride of all glory, to dishonor the honored of the earth."

God was simply showing the world once again the gospel (as He does from the beginning of Genesis to the end of Revelation). What do I mean? He is showing the folly of trusting anyone or anything in addition to or instead of Himself.

I think I've been seeing God in a new light for the past several years. I'm thankful for sanctification. But the trials still remain. Financial, physical, etc. . . Once again, how easy it is to "trust" when the pocketbook is full and the pain is eased. But what about when the pocketbook is empty and the pain is real? If I don't trust as fully then, I'm guilty of idolatry. Maybe I'm trusting my pocketbook. Maybe I'm trusting my health. Maybe I'm trusting in friendships, or people, or. . . (hence the blank in the title). Maybe I think I'm trusting God, but I realize, I'm only satisfied when _____ (a friend calls, a bonus comes in, I'm feeling better).

I cannot trust God and_______ (you fill in the blank). If / when I trust ANYTHING or ANYONE other than God, I'm guilty of idolatry. I'm thankful for the example of Tyre. It's in God's mercy that He's showing us the folly of pride or trust in any other source aside from His grace and salvation. Lord, forgive our idolatry and show us where we place our trust other than you. Thank you for mercy and grace.

Be aware of flawed thinking!!

I really hope this blog post makes sense instead of being just my rambly thoughts. It's funny how often an idea makes perfect sense in my mind till I try to actually put it on paper ;)

I'm becoming really aware of this flawed thinking in my own and other believers' lives. Many of us know the prosperity gospel is wrong. "Have enough faith and you will prosper and be blessed." Yet we still think like that. Don't we? I do. . . I want you to ask yourself, am I guilty of such thinking? Or really more likely, what is my view of that prosperity? Let me try to explain. . .

I'm involved in a home based jewelry business by a nationally known company. Nowhere does this flawed thinking come into play more than I see here. "Believe and you can achieve." So I see when the business is doing well, a lot of gals will say, "GOD did this." They have a 1,000 dollar show and several bookings, boy the praises do fly heavenward. But what about the show that bombs? Or what about the person who is too sick to do shows? I'm not criticizing anything. Shoot, I think like this all the time. I'm GUILTY of this very thinking.

Here I am, for the past eight months, I've been very sick. This summer I had to step away from my business completely. Guess what? GOD DID THAT! In His sovereign ordained purposes for my life, He allowed me to be too sick to carry on my business. His grace and goodness are as much in those circumstances as in the ones that "seem" good to me. We think SO limitedly. I have this idea of prosperity: my business is doing well, my kids are healthy and happy, I'm surrounded by friends, my husband loves me. . .

But lately, I've been lonely. I've been sick. I've had to step away from my business. Funds are tight. Some days, circumstances threaten to rob me of my joy. . .  And yet, God IS prospering me even in those times, even on those days. To the FULLEST MEASURE!

Am I making sense here? Take my sickness. A lot of people are praying for me to feel better, for which I'm truly thankful. So then, how easy is it, on a good day to say "God did this." But on the bad ones, when I'm stuck in bed and can barely do anything except the basics, do I ever catch myself saying, "God did this!" VERY rarely. Yet the scripture says, "Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change." So if there is NO variation or shadow of change any day of the week or year, then God doesn't take a day off. His gifts are perfect to me ALL the time. EVERY day, whether I see that day as prosperous from an earthly perspective or not. In sickness, in health. In prosperity, in money problems. In days when the kids are bad, and in days when the kids are good. Because He never changes and is good ALL the time. And His idea of prospering is allowing the things that will make me more like Christ.

So I challenge this flawed (yea, even sinful) thinking in my own life, and pray it will challenge it in yours."The Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away. Blessed be the name of the Lord."

Reading recommendations

I'm very leery of recommending books. I will tell you why. It's very easy in Christian books for man's opinion to be wrapped up in the guise of Biblical truth. I once had a very wise pastor's wife tell me something. At the beginning of her marriage, she devoured books on godly womanhood. She eventually got rid of them because she realized that much of it was just opinion and put pressure on her to do and be things God really didn't ask of her. I realized early on, I couldn't read what others were reading. My depression was so forefront for me, that the idea of organized closets and hot meals on the table were laughable when all I wanted to do was survive. Or even other ideals of "godly" womanhood.


So that being said, I'm very cautious that the books I recommend represent Biblical truth. Of course, there is no replacement for the scripture because ALL of man's books will have man's opinion. However, there are 2 life-changing books I have read. The first one is called Womanly Dominion: More Than A Gentle and Quiet Spirit by Mark Chansky. The challenge of this book is that every woman is called to dominate and conquer her life in her circumstances. I LOVED this challenge because, frankly, there is no one size fits all with godliness. We are all in different circumstances experiencing our sanctification in different ways. Yet it's so easy to put the ideals of a godly woman into a cookie cutter mold. Often, women think of a meek and quiet spirit as a passive one, but this book also challenges that thinking. We are to be anything but passive in the roles that God has put us in. We are to be actively running the race and conquering.

The second is the book I'm currently reading. Comforts From the Cross: Celebrating the Gospel One Day at a Time by Elyse Fitzpatrick. If you think you are gospel centered, this book will really challenge your thinking about the gospel and how it practically affects our living and our thinking. It takes the emphasis off of man and onto God. And it shows me practically how I am putting the emphasis on man without even realizing it.

So take these recommendations with a grain of salt, but I highly recommend getting them and reading them. Then, share your opinion with me!

Useless tears

I'm studying the book of Isaiah. Let me just tell you some of these chapters are heavy. Several chapters are oracles of destruction and judgment against nations who would not bow to the Lord.

So, today I was reading Isaiah 15. I really like Matthew Henry's commentary. He clarifies so much. Anyway, verse two refers to Moab in their distress. "He has gone up to the temple, and to Dibon, to the high places to weep."

These people were weeping before their false gods. Here's what Matthew Henry says. "It becomes a people in distress to seek to their God; and shall not we then thus walk in the name of the Lord our God, and call upon him in the time of trouble, before whom we shall not shed such useless profitless tears as they did before their gods?"

I couldn't help but be struck by the phrase "useless profitless tears." I've been meditating on it all morning. Partially because I shed a lot of tears just yesterday due to some struggles. And I was struck that most of my tears were useless and profitless. Mainly because they were selfish tears. Pity tears. They accomplished nothing.

And I've been pondering what type of tears would be useful and profitable? Because tears are not bad in and of themselves.

1. Tears of repentance
2. Tears that draw me to the throne of grace
3. Tears over the gospel
4. Tears in prayer to my Heavenly Father

So are my tears useless and profitless or are they useful and profitable? Because, frankly, there will be tears in this life. Matthew states that this life is full of tribulation. If my tears are a part of looking to God for my help and stay, then they profit me. If they are part of looking inward, then they are useless and profitless.

Strange little thing to meditate on, but really thought provoking for me today.