I simply can't trust God AND_________ (you fill in the blank)

Once again, my blog takes me back to my reading of Isaiah. I keep reading these oracles pronounced against various nations, and frankly, I was thinking, ok enough oracles. But I'm thankful that God continues to give me His word in spite of my fickleness.

So I've been reading these oracles against all these nations. Many of them had oppressed God's people or just outrightly defied God at every turn. Their judgment and destruction were swift and sure. But today, I reached the oracle pronounced against Tyre in chapter 23. I was struck all at once. I didn't really "see" the need for their destruction at first. But it is there, between the lines.

Tyre was a beautiful city, one of great prosperity and wealth. They had a history of being an ally to God's people, so I had to ask myself. Why would God bring about their destruction? The secret lies in verse 9. "The Lord of hosts has purposed it, to defile the pompous pride of all glory, to dishonor the honored of the earth."

God was simply showing the world once again the gospel (as He does from the beginning of Genesis to the end of Revelation). What do I mean? He is showing the folly of trusting anyone or anything in addition to or instead of Himself.

I think I've been seeing God in a new light for the past several years. I'm thankful for sanctification. But the trials still remain. Financial, physical, etc. . . Once again, how easy it is to "trust" when the pocketbook is full and the pain is eased. But what about when the pocketbook is empty and the pain is real? If I don't trust as fully then, I'm guilty of idolatry. Maybe I'm trusting my pocketbook. Maybe I'm trusting my health. Maybe I'm trusting in friendships, or people, or. . . (hence the blank in the title). Maybe I think I'm trusting God, but I realize, I'm only satisfied when _____ (a friend calls, a bonus comes in, I'm feeling better).

I cannot trust God and_______ (you fill in the blank). If / when I trust ANYTHING or ANYONE other than God, I'm guilty of idolatry. I'm thankful for the example of Tyre. It's in God's mercy that He's showing us the folly of pride or trust in any other source aside from His grace and salvation. Lord, forgive our idolatry and show us where we place our trust other than you. Thank you for mercy and grace.

Be aware of flawed thinking!!

I really hope this blog post makes sense instead of being just my rambly thoughts. It's funny how often an idea makes perfect sense in my mind till I try to actually put it on paper ;)

I'm becoming really aware of this flawed thinking in my own and other believers' lives. Many of us know the prosperity gospel is wrong. "Have enough faith and you will prosper and be blessed." Yet we still think like that. Don't we? I do. . . I want you to ask yourself, am I guilty of such thinking? Or really more likely, what is my view of that prosperity? Let me try to explain. . .

I'm involved in a home based jewelry business by a nationally known company. Nowhere does this flawed thinking come into play more than I see here. "Believe and you can achieve." So I see when the business is doing well, a lot of gals will say, "GOD did this." They have a 1,000 dollar show and several bookings, boy the praises do fly heavenward. But what about the show that bombs? Or what about the person who is too sick to do shows? I'm not criticizing anything. Shoot, I think like this all the time. I'm GUILTY of this very thinking.

Here I am, for the past eight months, I've been very sick. This summer I had to step away from my business completely. Guess what? GOD DID THAT! In His sovereign ordained purposes for my life, He allowed me to be too sick to carry on my business. His grace and goodness are as much in those circumstances as in the ones that "seem" good to me. We think SO limitedly. I have this idea of prosperity: my business is doing well, my kids are healthy and happy, I'm surrounded by friends, my husband loves me. . .

But lately, I've been lonely. I've been sick. I've had to step away from my business. Funds are tight. Some days, circumstances threaten to rob me of my joy. . .  And yet, God IS prospering me even in those times, even on those days. To the FULLEST MEASURE!

Am I making sense here? Take my sickness. A lot of people are praying for me to feel better, for which I'm truly thankful. So then, how easy is it, on a good day to say "God did this." But on the bad ones, when I'm stuck in bed and can barely do anything except the basics, do I ever catch myself saying, "God did this!" VERY rarely. Yet the scripture says, "Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change." So if there is NO variation or shadow of change any day of the week or year, then God doesn't take a day off. His gifts are perfect to me ALL the time. EVERY day, whether I see that day as prosperous from an earthly perspective or not. In sickness, in health. In prosperity, in money problems. In days when the kids are bad, and in days when the kids are good. Because He never changes and is good ALL the time. And His idea of prospering is allowing the things that will make me more like Christ.

So I challenge this flawed (yea, even sinful) thinking in my own life, and pray it will challenge it in yours."The Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away. Blessed be the name of the Lord."

Reading recommendations

I'm very leery of recommending books. I will tell you why. It's very easy in Christian books for man's opinion to be wrapped up in the guise of Biblical truth. I once had a very wise pastor's wife tell me something. At the beginning of her marriage, she devoured books on godly womanhood. She eventually got rid of them because she realized that much of it was just opinion and put pressure on her to do and be things God really didn't ask of her. I realized early on, I couldn't read what others were reading. My depression was so forefront for me, that the idea of organized closets and hot meals on the table were laughable when all I wanted to do was survive. Or even other ideals of "godly" womanhood.


So that being said, I'm very cautious that the books I recommend represent Biblical truth. Of course, there is no replacement for the scripture because ALL of man's books will have man's opinion. However, there are 2 life-changing books I have read. The first one is called Womanly Dominion: More Than A Gentle and Quiet Spirit by Mark Chansky. The challenge of this book is that every woman is called to dominate and conquer her life in her circumstances. I LOVED this challenge because, frankly, there is no one size fits all with godliness. We are all in different circumstances experiencing our sanctification in different ways. Yet it's so easy to put the ideals of a godly woman into a cookie cutter mold. Often, women think of a meek and quiet spirit as a passive one, but this book also challenges that thinking. We are to be anything but passive in the roles that God has put us in. We are to be actively running the race and conquering.

The second is the book I'm currently reading. Comforts From the Cross: Celebrating the Gospel One Day at a Time by Elyse Fitzpatrick. If you think you are gospel centered, this book will really challenge your thinking about the gospel and how it practically affects our living and our thinking. It takes the emphasis off of man and onto God. And it shows me practically how I am putting the emphasis on man without even realizing it.

So take these recommendations with a grain of salt, but I highly recommend getting them and reading them. Then, share your opinion with me!

Useless tears

I'm studying the book of Isaiah. Let me just tell you some of these chapters are heavy. Several chapters are oracles of destruction and judgment against nations who would not bow to the Lord.

So, today I was reading Isaiah 15. I really like Matthew Henry's commentary. He clarifies so much. Anyway, verse two refers to Moab in their distress. "He has gone up to the temple, and to Dibon, to the high places to weep."

These people were weeping before their false gods. Here's what Matthew Henry says. "It becomes a people in distress to seek to their God; and shall not we then thus walk in the name of the Lord our God, and call upon him in the time of trouble, before whom we shall not shed such useless profitless tears as they did before their gods?"

I couldn't help but be struck by the phrase "useless profitless tears." I've been meditating on it all morning. Partially because I shed a lot of tears just yesterday due to some struggles. And I was struck that most of my tears were useless and profitless. Mainly because they were selfish tears. Pity tears. They accomplished nothing.

And I've been pondering what type of tears would be useful and profitable? Because tears are not bad in and of themselves.

1. Tears of repentance
2. Tears that draw me to the throne of grace
3. Tears over the gospel
4. Tears in prayer to my Heavenly Father

So are my tears useless and profitless or are they useful and profitable? Because, frankly, there will be tears in this life. Matthew states that this life is full of tribulation. If my tears are a part of looking to God for my help and stay, then they profit me. If they are part of looking inward, then they are useless and profitless.

Strange little thing to meditate on, but really thought provoking for me today.

Mental illness is no laughing matter

I write this post with a grieving heart. However, I must use my voice to speak out against injustice and inaccurate teaching.

Last night, a "buzz" started on facebook about a sermon preached near me. I decided to listen to this sermon this morning. I ended up in tears. Why? Because this preacher made fun of mental illness with inappropriate jokes and inaccurate Bible metaphors. Let me explain.

Mental illness is NOT a sin. Can it cause sin issues? Yes. Is it a sin itself? No. I listened as this man made fun of ADD, people who cut themselves, and people who choose medication. I heard as the undertones of this message compared the demon possessed man in the scripture to mentally ill people. I heard as it was implied that these people need to take care of their sin problem.

WHOA! Stop right there. I guarantee in that audience was someone who suffers. Probably, after that message, in silence. And we wonder why people walk away from God. We wonder why no one opens up about such issues in churches. Because if this is the God that is preached, who wants Him? Thankfully, this is NOT my God. My God saves. My God gives grace to people who suffer from ANY ailment, physical or mental.

In that audience were people who care. People who care about God. People who care about their sin. People who want to do right. And yet their mind suffers. I was / am one of them! I almost walked away from God and life because of such teaching!

And let me tell you, to even imply that the sin is the source of the problem is a HUGE HUGE mistake. I'm not saying (again) sin issues may not be involved. But we must be OH SO VERY careful how we address such tender and serious subjects. Not with distasteful jokes. Not with misunderstanding. But with kid gloves. And the man of God who preaches from the pulpit must be especially careful with his words!

I will NEVER stop fighting for you, Denise

Yesterday was one of the rough ones. . .

Then last night, in the arms of my beloved, I heard words I will cling to for a while, "I will never stop fighting for you, Denise."

I want to write them on my forehead. Place them on my mirrors. Rehearse them daily when the fight just seems too hard. Because yesterday, I didn't want to fight. I was tired of fighting. And I figure this: if my imperfect husband feels like that toward me. . . how much more does my Heavenly Father feel that way toward me.

He will NEVER stop fighting. Humans will stop fighting for me. Man will give up on me. Friends will get frustrated with me.

But not my FATHER. He will NEVER stop fighting for me. And so for Him, I pray for the grace to fight a little more. To become a little more sanctified. And to pray that He will use my struggles for something beautiful!

"Considerably rumpled in spirit. . . "

I like Anne. . . she reminds me of someone. . .

Been a little introspective today, and I couldn't help but think of Anne Shirley and her famous quote.

I've been "considerably rumpled in spirit lately" and a bit out of sorts. Granted, I've pretty much felt like I've had the flu since, oh, January. . .

This morning, I woke up, once again, sick as all getout. And I got frustrated. And mad. And grumpy. (seems like a tendency lately). Thankfully, I have the Lord and his wonderful still small voice. Aren't you thankful for that wonderful, still small voice? I was challenged by that voice to ask myself WHY I'm rumpled in spirit.

God has given me health challenges. I have the decision on how I react. Lately, not so good. I couldn't help but think. . . If you and I ate junk food all the time, what would happen to us? We wouldn't be terribly healthy would we? Yet, in this world, it's TERRIBLY easy to consist on junk food. Think about it, between iphones, laptops, internet and tv, we have a constant diet of junk food. (metaphorically speaking of course)

I know when I'm not feeling well, it's much easier to hit the "on" button on my TV than to open my Bible or listen to a sermon. Then I probably shouldn't be surprised when I become "rumpled in spirit."

I can't consist on junk food and be healthy. So today, I'm challenging myself to a new diet. (if any of my friends reads this, you are more than welcome to check on me!)

Depression is NOT a sign of weakness - my church service this morning

This morning, our visiting speaker preached on Psalm 88. It's an interesting Psalm for a sermon. It's a Psalm of Lament. Unlike most Psalms of Lament, there is no turning toward heaven at the end of the Psalm. Instead, the Psalm ends in a dark place.

I have days like that. Shoot, I've had weeks like that. So I was intrigued by this message from the beginning.

The speaker said a sentence that I'm not sure I will EVER forget. He basically said that depression is NOT a sign of weakness. See, I have known for a long time that depression itself is not a sin. But I'm not sure I will ever feel as strong as other Christians. I often look at myself as the "weak one."  I still often think that if I were a good, strong Christian, I wouldn't have this struggle. What a balm again to remember that is NOT the case.

A few very rambling notes from the message this morning:

• If there is any hope for us, it must be in the God who saves. 
• Our standing before God has NOTHING to do with how we're feeling (is not based on how we feel). 
• We can take our despair and depression before God. 
• We can appeal to the mercy of the Lord. Without His intervention, we have no hope. 
• The psalmist persevered in his prayers. The reason we have this Psalm is because the Psalmist never quit praying, even in his despair. 
• While in our depression, we may question where God is.  He is ALWAYS with His people. In His covenant love, He promises to never leave or forsake his children. 
• Coming to Christ, we are ALWAYS received, always welcomed, always loved.  

A few years ago, I was ready to walk away from God because I could not be strong enough. I'm so thankful for my journey to the place where I realize, His strength is enough. 

He is not finished with me

So friends, I pray this blog series has helped you in some small way. If you read this, and think, I know that girl, what a hypocrite. I’ll be the first to admit to you: I AM! The biggest one of all. Yet all sinners are hypocrites in some form. We sin. We know the truth and sin anyway.

That’s why there’s grace. We begin and end with the gospel. Jesus saves. On my good days, He saves. On my bad days, He saves.

Romans 7 states that in me “dwells NOTHING good.”

24 Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? 25 Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!

And frankly, whether you’re healthy or whether your health is failing, we’re ALL living in bodies of death. We need hope. Jesus Christ’s work on the cross is the only deliverance.

Spiritual or physical?  (beware, rambly post)

*Disclaimer: None of the things I suggest here should be taken lightly. ALL changes should be carefully examined and controlled by a doctor. And when possible, find a good Biblical counselor who does not blame you for your depression, but find one that will help you deal with it. 

I have discussed depression and its spiritual aspects.

Only you can decide whether your depression is physically or spiritually based. It takes great wisdom to know the difference. And sometimes the physical and spiritual are SO intertwined, it’s difficult to know. Therefore, it’s good to attack your depression from all sides.  Physical problems can cause depression. Depression can cause physical problems. So, this question can be a tough one.

And don’t let anyone else tell you what it is or isn’t. HOWEVER, don’t be quick to judge either.  I have personally had someone look at me and tell me the depression was ALL MY FAULT. Those words haunt me to this day. But I know myself best.  The person who said that to me doesn’t know me at all.  Nor did that person really try.

I feel the reason depression is mistreated in Christian circles is that, frankly, it’s become the catch all diagnosis for all sorts of bad behaviors. Bitterness, worry, and a host of other sinful choices can all lead to depression.  (take a pill, dull it down but continue to live as I want). Not that I’m against medication at ALL. You should carefully discuss options with your doctor. I have two cautions for you to consider. First, medication can easily become the answer instead of Christ. Also, medication can keep you from knowing the REAL physical issue.  It’s like putting a bandaid over an oozing wound that is really infected. You need to find the source of the infection and get rid of it. Don't take that to mean medicine is evil. Just go into it aware of these issues. Medicine can be life saving. I personally can't take it due to side effects. Find a trustworthy doctor.

So the big question is: is depression the source or the result?

When the entire world was telling me depression was the result of my choices, I KNEW it was the cause. Maybe this fact doesn’t make sense to you. And I am in no way excusing my sin, but I KNEW something was very physically wrong with me. I had to retrain myself in new ways of dealing with it, but the depression IS REAL and very physical.

IT can be very difficult to sort through these issues as well. Frankly, it’s hard to be spiritually right when you feel SO awful. So feeling better can often lead to spiritual strides.

However, feeling awful doesn’t excuse sin. See? No wonder I (and maybe you) get tempted to give up. But we are compelled to obey and not sin no matter how we’re feeling. So we work on these things side by side.

 

So let’s talk physical well being. Your body is a temple and we should do the best we can to care for it. (I don’t always. Maybe this preaching at myself will help).

1. Get a physical. Rule out thyroid issues, hormones issues or a host of other issues that can cause depression. Sometimes, the answer is simple.

2. Exercise. 

3. Diet. OH how we hate to change our diet. Do you know sugar can cause depression? Gluten allergies? Other food allergies. . . there are steps you can take to eliminate foods and figure out what causes you issues.  I can’t believe how many people suffer but refuse to change the way they eat. Get rid of processed foods, add fruits and vegetables and get rid of sugar. It’s not the end of the world, but it might be the end of your struggles. Resources exist to help. But it takes some sacrifice and work.

4. Supplements. Do you know low vitamin d can cause depression? As can other things. Get checked out by a doctor and make sure you’re not vitamin deficient.

I hope some of these tips help you. If I call my counselor on a bad day, he will ask. How are you eating?  How are you sleeping? Have you exercised?

Good questions to ask yourself or someone else who’s struggling.  And I’m telling you, if you’re struggling, the answer isn’t easy. You have to tell yourself, I will FIGHT and work and do what it takes! No one can help you if you give up! 

A little aside: you may not find the cause of your physical problems. There are times I’m doing everything I know to do, and I still become VERY depressed. These are the times when I’m reminded. God doesn’t always promise to take our thorn in the flesh away. But He does promise grace to get through it.

If someone doesn’t believe in you, find someone who will! God does and I do!

Grace and peace!

The ordinary means of grace

Question 88 of the Westminster Shorter Catechism asks, “What are the outward means whereby Christ communicateth to us the benefits of redemption?”

Answer:
The outward and ordinary means whereby Christ communicateth to us the benefits of redemption are his ordinances, especially the Word, sacraments and prayer; all of which are made effectual to the elect for salvation.

Maybe you’re saying, huh, what does that mean?  One of the great benefits of redemption is grace. And God gives us channels of grace. The importance of the Word, the sacraments (baptism and the Lord’s supper, and prayer cannot be overstated. He has given to us the means of grace. We are compelled by scripture to be committed to the ordinary means of grace.

Make sure you are a part of a Bible believing and preaching church.

Regularly participate in the Lord’s supper.

Read the Word and pray.

They really aren’t difficult, but oh, they will change your life!

One of the questions my counselor asks me when in a difficult time, “Are you using the means of grace?” 

Darkness and Light

Depression is a battle. I might be home an entire day, not accomplishing much and feel like I’ve run a marathon when I go to bed. Why is that? Because depression is a BATTLE.

And whether we like it or not, we MUST fight. Some days, our fight may be ONE step of obedience (see previous blog post), BUT we must fight.

I just went through some difficult days this winter, and I didn’t fight. I should have. I’m thankful God forgives.

So how do we fight a battle? We put on armor. Where do we find the armor of God? It's described for us in Ephesians 6. Let’s break down the armor of God.

1. Belt of truth. Truth is your friend in your fight. Truth will break walls and set you free. Where is truth found? In scripture! (I bet as we break down the armor of God, you’re going to start seeing a pattern).  Tell yourself truth. Write it down. Write as many truths down. It’s better than curling in a ball and crying. (and I’ve spent a lot of time doing just that)
2.  Breastplate of righteousness.  Where does your righteousness come from? Is it something you do? Hardly! It comes from Christ. His work on the cross is the basis for our righteousness. He took ALL the yuckiness of our sin on Him, and when He saves us, He places ALL his righteousness on us. AMAZING GRACE. If you know Christ, beloved, he will never look on you as anything but righteous. And this truth will get you through some very difficult days. 
3.  Gospel of peace.  Oh peace can be elusive to the one who suffers from depression. But where is peace found? In the gospel! (seeing that pattern yet?) The gospel is our only hope. What is the gospel? Christ died for my sins on the cross. I am dead in my trespasses and sins. When I place my faith in Christ (which is a gift in itself), He places his righteousness on me and takes my sins and nails them on that cross. When He (God the Father) looks at me, HE SEES CHRIST! WOW. Even when I'm depressed, He looks at me and sees CHRIST.
4.  Shield of faith. Our faith in Christ is the light that will get us through darkness. We have hope!
5. Helmet of salvation (ok, I really think we’ve covered this salvation thing). Do you think God is getting across to us that our ARMOR is our SALVATION?? His covenant promises apply to us in WHOLE when we know Christ. We are preserved, saved, sanctified, helped, protected, loved (and I could go on and on).
6. Sword of the spirit. We must KNOW truth and tell ourselves truth if we’re going to make it through this life. But we won’t know truth if we don’t get in the WORD. It’s our sword to pierce through darkness.   

But you know, I always thought of the armor of God as some difficult thing to “put on”. Heavy. But writing this blog post, I see it’s very simple. It’s the saving grace of Jesus Christ. It's my focus on THAT truth. All the time. 

So friend, put on the Armor of God. You may not FEEL any different, but you will be sanctified through the grace and salvation of Jesus.

ONE STEP

I bet this was probably the most helpful advice I received when working through the spiritual aspects of my depression. Do ONE thing. 

I would curl up in a corner and sob. My brain SHOUTS at me. The dirty dishes sit in the sink. The laundry piles up. But I want my corner. I want my covers over my head to shut out the voice. I want other people to come, take over my life so that I don’t have to deal with it. Because dealing is just . . . too . . . hard.

Now I have a choice. God gave me this life, so I HAVE to deal. I have choices to make. Often, I make the wrong one, but I learned something. When I make one right choice, GOD gives grace. Then, He gives more grace to make another right one. Maybe, just maybe, one day gets ONE right choice. But it’s SOMETHING. And with each right choice comes grace. And with grace comes sanctification. And before you know it, you’re changing.  And before you know it, maybe the right choices start to outweigh the wrong ones, and you are being sanctified. Not through power of your own, but through the immeasurable grace of Jesus.

So what are some practical things to help? 

First, music is a powerful help during the difficulties. Choosing music that speaks truth is of vital importance.

Casting Crowns has a fabulous song I would sing over and over. It's called Voice of Truth

The song’s chorus states:

Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

We’ll talk more about truth later and the place it has in this fight. But I have to CHOOSE to believe truth when everything in my head is shouting lies.

Back to our one step.What are other "one steps"? Maybe one load of dishes. Maybe one load of laundry. I might pick up one room. Doesn’t seem like much, but some days those victories are like climbing a mountain.  

And I begin to notice that with each step comes grace.

And when you step backwards and disobey, you confess. Isn’t that the joy of the cross? You can take your sin and LEAVE IT THERE.  You don’t have to feel guilty. Christ paid the penalty. And you can do one right thing now!

So one practical step you can do or encourage someone else to do: ONE step. ONE good choice. ONE at a time. Blessings, friend.

Sin and Depression

*Disclaimer: those of you who know me well know that I don’t always follow my own advice. Frankly, when the darkness hits, it’s really difficult to remember these truths and put them into practice. I don't always do it myself. One of the reasons for my writing is that I will come back to these truths when I am down. The beauty of grace is that God never quits on us even when we deserve it. 

 _____________________________________________________

Now that I’ve discussed the fact that depression itself is not a sin, we need to discuss sin. 

Frankly, depression OFTEN leads to sinful responses. Darkness can be very overwhelming. It’s very easy to give in to the feelings. Feelings are POWERFUL. They try to dictate to us how to live. Especially when everything in my mind tells me, compels me in a direction that is dark. Unless you’ve lived this experience, it’s difficult to describe.

This conundrum was probably the most difficult problem I faced (and still do sometimes). How do you separate the sin from the depression? I was living sinful patterns of response to my depression. I knew it, but I could no more control the depression itself than I can control the sun rising. So therefore, it's easy to "excuse" the sinful responses. This mess can be difficult to work on.

There is no easy answer. I often joke that separating the sin from the depression can be like trying to separate an item that has been super glued. It’s messy, hard work. But we ask the Father to show us our sin and then strive to live in obedience, as much as we are able with His help. Ha, sounds easy, doesn’t it? Well, thankfully, I was given some very practical small steps as I struggled through these issues.

I pray the next few blog posts will help sort these issues out and give practical ways that you can help someone struggling with this darkness. Hang in there with me.

A little reminder for you before I go:

Remember, the best way to dispel darkness is with light! You may keep feeling like the darkness is suffocating, but THERE IS LIGHT. It's easy to believe there's light when life seems lighter. But it's much harder when life seems dark and dreary. But the source of light hasn't changed!

John 8:12

Again Jesus spoke to them, saying, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”

Depression and the Christian (continued)

Recently I heard talk of a prominent teacher in my area basically teaching that depression is sin.

The idea was stated that if you really know your God, you won't suffer from discouragement and depression.

You know, Paul asked for his thorn in the flesh to be removed. Did God say, "If you just trust me enough, your thorn will go away"? Did God say, "If you know who I am, you will no longer have a thorn"?

NO, He said, "My grace is sufficient for you. My strength is made perfect in weakness."

So why do we suddenly not apply that to depression?

ALL suffering is an opportunity for ministry to one another AND for ministry to ourselves. It's an opportunity to say to God, I can do nothing of myself. All that is in me is depraved, worthless. You are my only hope, ever!!

It's an opportunity for God's grace to be perfected. And when I blow it, His grace is my stay!


Selah sings a song:
Wonderful, Merciful Savior

Almighty, infinite Father
Faithfully loving Your own
Here in our weakness You find us
Falling before Your throne
Oh, we're falling before Your throne

The purpose of all suffering is to bring us to the throne of our Heavenly Father. I would never tell a suffering cancer patient that trusting God will take away his or her cancer.  So a minister of God or a well meaning friend should NEVER tell that to a depressed person. I find it be dangerous waters and VERY dangerous teaching.

God is our only hope, no matter what our state! Friend, cling to that hope. If you don't know that hope, find it!

A life without depression

I've been silent for a while. Frankly, there are many times I just feel I have nothing to say. But I had this conversation this week I feel compelled to share.

My husband and I were talking about depression. It's been a pretty tough year. Tougher than I've told most people.  I think I stay silent during the rough times because, frankly, who wants to hear about them? No one, so I've been told. Many times.

So I say to my husband this week. What would life be like without depression? I often think of that as my ultimate goal: to live a WELL life. A life without sickness and without depression.

And he says, "would you really want that life? I love you the way you are. Your difficulties make you a special individual with depth and feeling."

I have thought and thought about these words this week. Why is it that we see an "ideal" life as a life free from depression? You have to admit it, most Christians do.

I believe firmly this IS my thorn in the flesh. I'm not sure I will ever be fully rid of it.

What does God say to Paul when he asks to be delivered from his thorn? "My grace is sufficient for you."

His grace is sufficient, no matter what my issue is. Mine just happens to be depression. It's ugly, it's dark. But I must embrace it as the path HE has chosen for me.