"Considerably rumpled in spirit. . . "

I like Anne. . . she reminds me of someone. . .

Been a little introspective today, and I couldn't help but think of Anne Shirley and her famous quote.

I've been "considerably rumpled in spirit lately" and a bit out of sorts. Granted, I've pretty much felt like I've had the flu since, oh, January. . .

This morning, I woke up, once again, sick as all getout. And I got frustrated. And mad. And grumpy. (seems like a tendency lately). Thankfully, I have the Lord and his wonderful still small voice. Aren't you thankful for that wonderful, still small voice? I was challenged by that voice to ask myself WHY I'm rumpled in spirit.

God has given me health challenges. I have the decision on how I react. Lately, not so good. I couldn't help but think. . . If you and I ate junk food all the time, what would happen to us? We wouldn't be terribly healthy would we? Yet, in this world, it's TERRIBLY easy to consist on junk food. Think about it, between iphones, laptops, internet and tv, we have a constant diet of junk food. (metaphorically speaking of course)

I know when I'm not feeling well, it's much easier to hit the "on" button on my TV than to open my Bible or listen to a sermon. Then I probably shouldn't be surprised when I become "rumpled in spirit."

I can't consist on junk food and be healthy. So today, I'm challenging myself to a new diet. (if any of my friends reads this, you are more than welcome to check on me!)

Depression is NOT a sign of weakness - my church service this morning

This morning, our visiting speaker preached on Psalm 88. It's an interesting Psalm for a sermon. It's a Psalm of Lament. Unlike most Psalms of Lament, there is no turning toward heaven at the end of the Psalm. Instead, the Psalm ends in a dark place.

I have days like that. Shoot, I've had weeks like that. So I was intrigued by this message from the beginning.

The speaker said a sentence that I'm not sure I will EVER forget. He basically said that depression is NOT a sign of weakness. See, I have known for a long time that depression itself is not a sin. But I'm not sure I will ever feel as strong as other Christians. I often look at myself as the "weak one."  I still often think that if I were a good, strong Christian, I wouldn't have this struggle. What a balm again to remember that is NOT the case.

A few very rambling notes from the message this morning:

• If there is any hope for us, it must be in the God who saves. 
• Our standing before God has NOTHING to do with how we're feeling (is not based on how we feel). 
• We can take our despair and depression before God. 
• We can appeal to the mercy of the Lord. Without His intervention, we have no hope. 
• The psalmist persevered in his prayers. The reason we have this Psalm is because the Psalmist never quit praying, even in his despair. 
• While in our depression, we may question where God is.  He is ALWAYS with His people. In His covenant love, He promises to never leave or forsake his children. 
• Coming to Christ, we are ALWAYS received, always welcomed, always loved.  

A few years ago, I was ready to walk away from God because I could not be strong enough. I'm so thankful for my journey to the place where I realize, His strength is enough. 

He is not finished with me

So friends, I pray this blog series has helped you in some small way. If you read this, and think, I know that girl, what a hypocrite. I’ll be the first to admit to you: I AM! The biggest one of all. Yet all sinners are hypocrites in some form. We sin. We know the truth and sin anyway.

That’s why there’s grace. We begin and end with the gospel. Jesus saves. On my good days, He saves. On my bad days, He saves.

Romans 7 states that in me “dwells NOTHING good.”

24 Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? 25 Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!

And frankly, whether you’re healthy or whether your health is failing, we’re ALL living in bodies of death. We need hope. Jesus Christ’s work on the cross is the only deliverance.