A danger in the church's teaching

I sat in a corner, weeping. My hands were over my  head, my head between my knees. I rocked back and forth, weeping. The gut wrenching sobs came from the core of my being. The voices in my head screamed at me . . . "It would be so much better if you were dead. You are not as good as other people. You can't hold friendships, they all abandon you." The darkness sucked me in like a vortex.

Was it my fault? I was doing everything I knew how. Regularly in the Word of God, much time on my knees. I was trying to trust this God everyone was telling me about. I reached out for help to the church, but what I got was a list of do's and don'ts. I was ready to give up everything, but especially life. I felt I was doing all the right things, but the darkness was so real I could almost touch it. I was such a mess and didn't have a clue how to fix it.

I was being told so often. . . if you just know who God is, you won't have depression any more. Because that is what my pulpit taught. Now I know many of my friends will disagree with me. We preach the gospel from our fundamentalist pulpits. Well I know what I was taught. . . discipline, hard work, please God, etc. . .

What was missing? The gospel! Plain and simple. I know this post will offend some people, but once again, I pray for a soul baring searching for many people. My churches taught the gospel. There was a sense in which we realized we couldn't save ourselves. But then we lost it somewhere along the way. The gospel becomes muddled with rules. This problem isn't limited to fundamentalists, but since that is where I grew up, that is my experience. However, I have run into these issues in my reformed circles now as well. The problem runs rampant throughout our churches. We seek, we want to believe that somehow we are better than we are. We want to believe we contribute to our own spirituality. I'm not saying we can live however we want. I am just saying. . . . we cannot teach that people cannot contribute to their own salvation, and then our churches teach that we can contribute to our own sanctification.

People everywhere are abandoning the church right and left, and I believe we have muddled our teaching with a man-centered sanctification. I'm not abandoning that we have choices, and some of that is where the muddling comes in.

What was I missing? I was missing the gospel. How could I be raised in churches and be missing God? Because I lost my gospel-centered living.

Oh churches, help the mentally ill, help the struggling by getting back to the basics in our everyday teaching and living. We are utterly helpless. Both when we are saved and when we are walking day by day. May we throw ourselves back at the foot of the cross every. . . single. . . day!

Everyone's issues are so complex, but nothing is quite as complex as mental illness. I believe our churches just believe that if we preach enough, teach enough, the mentally ill will no longer have these struggles, and we won't have to face them or deal with their issues. Mental illness is a complexity of sin, genetics, health, and brain chemicals. The churches as a whole are not doing much to help unravel these issues. So far too often, people run. From God, from the church. We are filling our churches with people who don't have problems. (I say that tongue in cheek). Churches are too busy preaching at people and not busy enough coming alongside people.

I almost died that day. It is merely by God's grace that I held on. And thankfully, a gospel centered counselor that came alongside me and helped me for a long time. In that way, there was a lot of work involved. But thankfully, he never blamed me for my illness. Not once. There wasn't one clear answer as my years of blog posts clearly show. But there is one thing our churches should be doing better: preaching and practicing a daily, gospel-centered living.

It isn't about me or any righteousness of my own. It's completely about Him. He came as a babe in human form, living the perfect life I couldn't live. Then He died and took all my unrighteousness on Himself. Then when He gave me the faith to trust Him, He placed all that righteousness on me. Every human, no matter what their particular struggles, needs to live in that reality every day! That is where our churches need to get back to. Sorry for the shocking title, but I do believe to this day that there will be an answer given for the muddled teaching causing so many people to abandon the church and God.

Forgive me if I said something wrong. This post has been in my gut for a very long time. But I believe it's so important to write about!